Listening to: “Sabbath Bloody Sabbath” by Black Sabbath
"Yeah we're going to the parking lot to drink beers and chase muff. Some dude named Kash brought a keg."
15. The Vikings Exhibit at The Museum Of Natural History in NYC
Go here today! Not just for the fact that it’s amazing, but you just might learn something. The model of the Blue Whale in Millstein Hall & the 3.2-million-year-old skeleton named Lucy are both amazing to see. But my favorite part has always been the Mongolian exhibit. I saw this when I was a kid and couldn't stop thinking about it. Honestly though, the attendant who was showing my father and I the exhibit was smoking. Like old school 80’s teen hot. After school special hot.
“These guys just learned what boy bands are. The hunt is on!”
Anyways, there was this huge section on barbaric hordes mentioning Attila the Hunn, the battle of Badr and the Vikings! I know Vikings can be kind of gay at times (Literally! Just big gay bearded dudes on a boat.) but that doesn't diminish their awesomeness. Vikings = metal. That’s just science. Look it up.
14. Angel Witch
Amazing UK metal. I did not listen to this band in my early years. A friend of mine played them for me in my twenties. Holy shit! I mean I loved metal when I was a lad and I don’t know how they fell through the cracks but I’m glad I found them. I know everybody says “You have to hear this band or you’re missing out.” Hell, I’m going to say it at least 3 more times in this post but god damn they are good. They only put out three records. Their first self titled is, in my opinion, the best. They kill it with songs about Atlantis, Dr. Phibes and the White Witch. One song off it called “Gorgon,” about Medusa of course, transports me back to my room in my parents’ apartment. Go listen to it on YouTube. Go. Right now.
Awesome huh? If you didn't do it you’re a tool. If you did, you’ve just taken a step into a larger world. One with Gorgons! Yay!
13. Forbidden Planet
FP is probably the largest collection of cult mega stores in the world. They have locations all over Europe and one in Manhattan. (Score!) I used to go in there with my older brother and father and geek out for hours on end. I went to the old location uptown off the 4 train when I was younger. Since then they moved to 14th street but it still rules.
“This is at 6 in the morning. FB is that awesome.”
The nutty thing about this place was the clientele of this shop. I walked in there once and some old lady (like 65 maybe?) was singing along with Megadeth’s Take No Prisoners. Fuck yes you old lady. Comic shops and metal. It’s a perfect mix, people!
12. The Call of Cthulhu
This is a story by H.P. Lovecraft. The story or Cthulhu himself are constantly mentioned in popular culture. Cthulhu resembles a giant winged, squid like tentacle faced dragon beast that emerges from the sea. A beast rising from the waters of the ocean to destroy all mankind. Sounds like a metal concept to me. From news articles, to South Park, and The Venture Bros., to millions of heavy metal songs... Cthulhu pops up all over the place. Not to mention the kick ass RPG that came out in 1981.
“If you had one that looked like this too, congratulations you’re officially old school... you are also old.”
I got this as a hand me down from an older friend in my parent’s building. If you can find it, play it. You’ll be surprised how fun it is. The players take the roles of ordinary people drawn into the realm of the mysterious: detectives, criminals, scholars, artists, war veterans, etc. And as the game goes on you lose “Sanity Points.” Mental health will drive you mad! Bang your head!
11. Fantastic Planet
Fantastic Planet is a French animated film by René Laloux and a hell of a head trip. Humans “Oms” have been brought to a distant world inhabited by these blue humanoid giants called “Draags”. The equalization of time between the two beings are very skewed as a human year is equal to a Draag week. Some humans are kept as pets, some run free and periodically exterminated and some are used for scientific study. It’s crazy to see a human being subjugated to cruelty at the hands of giant children... Crazy metal.
“I may forgotten to mention the alien women were missing chest holes on their shirts.”
This is an amazing and very introspective film about human worth. It also had a very hypnotic dream state soundtrack and whenever I think of the underlying themes, I get hit with a continuing dazed guitar chorus. Very Deep Purple.
10. Risk
“I will die before you take Saudi Arabia!” I don’t know how many times I’ve said this during this game but it’s all about the oil my friends. How is this board game metal in any way? It’s about world domination and when I’m conquering, "Mob Rules” is playing over my troops’ loudspeakers. We are coming for you!
“Better run to the hills bitches.”
One my friends and I started playing this outside our apartment during a block party around one in the afternoon. The game finished at three the next morning. I did not win and I'm still pissed. This game is insane and after this post is over I’m going on eBay to get a new copy of Risk. Rock. Riskrock?
9. Frank Frazetta
Very few artists’ have the fortune to be known the world over for being the best at what they do. Ladies and gentlemen... Frank Frazetta. The world of fantasy and science fiction have always been captured perfectly through his art. A savage neanderthal fighting a panther in the jungle or an alien battle on the face of the moon and especially barely clad amazon warriors, Frazetta made it real.
“He’s peeing with no hands!”
Not to mention tons of bands used his art for a basis of what they want their album covers to look like. One of his most well known paintings “The Death Dealer” seen below, is something I’ve seen altered, imitated and just plain copied on tons of flyers and posters. Substitute the ax with a guitar and photo shop your head on him. You won’t be sorry.
“I’m excited because I’m on my way to a dance competition.”
8. Iron Maiden
Talk about a great band. I sang Run To The Hills at my parents’ one year instead of a blessing before Thanksgiving dinner. My father still brings that up. He was not pleased. But that’s cool because my dad is officially not metal. Iron Maiden might be the world’s most popular metal band. These guys can draw 50,000 people to a coliseum with less than two months of promoting. Search for Rock In Rio; one of their live records. They have this operatic intro with thousands of people chanting “Iron Maiden!” The hairs on the back of your neck will be standing, I promise!
7. Deep Purple
At a young age I wasn’t into psychedelics but I had the proper music for it. I LOVE Deep Purple. The first song I ever taught myself to play on bass was Highway Star. Deep Purple is that good. I used to go up to my roof and draw for hours at a time. Looking off into the distance and listening to either A 200, Listen Learn Read On or my favorite Chasing Shadows, I’d be transported to that fantasy world. Again this was without acid or salvia; Deep Purple is that good.
“Not a doctored photo.”
I recall asking a friend of mine how they came up with such cool songs. He looked at me and said “Drugs.” Later that day was the first time I smoked weed. Then I went home, played Burn and sculpted for 3 hours. Deep Purple is that good.
6. Revenge (the emotion)
So you’re just a kid who likes school, reading about history is fun, and you enjoy science. Sure you wear jogging pants to school and maybe you walk on your toes sometimes. Is this a reason to get pummeled on a constant basis? Of course not - but I did. The idea of coming to school the next day having acquired combat skills and dishing out deserved beatings to my sworn enemies made me so happy.
“This came up when I did a Google image search for the word revenge.”
I’m not saying I was a candidate for a Columbine type of mishap or anything. I was just a guy who when listening to Judas Priest and imagining I could fly and shoot lasers from my fingertips. Ah youth... glad that’s over.
5. Heavy Metal Magazine + Movie
I was fortunate to be introduced to this magazine at a very young age. Cosmic stories with backgrounds ranging from space stations to bars full of frogmen in a submerged New York City. This was such a great mag and it came out each month?!? Not to mention the art. Want your kid to become artistically inclined? Give him a copy of Heavy Metal.
“See? There's nothing perverse here Mom.”
Then I saw the movie! You’ve taken a story style I love and made it into an animated movie? I couldn’t have been happier. The metal seeps through because in the movie and even when you read the magazine you hear Blue Oyster Cult, Dio and Ozzy. Also there was an overwhelming theme in Heavy Metal that I couldn't ignore. It's also my next topic...
4. Breasts
I hadn’t seen any except for in magazines and I thought about them a lot. I heard about them in lot of these songs, though. And like I said earlier I had a very rich imagination. I would say maybe sixty percent of what me and my geeky friends talked about whilst growing up were boobies. I think the average group of adolescents thinks about them eighty percent, but you know... we were nerds. D&D had to take some precedence.
“Oh my!”
3. Black Sabbath
Ah... the kings of metal. Some go so far as to say there would be no metal without Sabbath. I disagree with that sentiment but love the band no less. I went to Times Square when I was a kid and bought Paranoid on vinyl. Old school Times Square. Prostitutes and drug addict Times Square. It reminded me of Heavy Traffic or Hey Good Lookin’ by Ralph Bakshi.
"Sabbath!"
I wasn't supposed to even get on the train from Brooklyn by myself and got in tons of trouble; but my dad let me keep the record. Thank god he did. I literally carved up the wax, I listened to that record so much. Every time something depressed or excited me I went to Paranoid. Probably the soundtrack to my youth. I got hit by a car while skating in Soho listening to Iron Man on my headphones. The cabbie stuck his head out his window and asked frantically “You okay kid?” I looked at him and said “Sabbath.” and skated away. My knee still hurts.
2. Conan The Barbarian
This is a shout out to Robert E. Howard for creating and writing those awesome Conan stories I used to read like The Bloody Crown of, The Coming of & The Conquering Sword Of Conan. Not to mention the tons of comics and Mego figures I had. All the things I've mentioned still hold up. I’m not sure if there’s a Conan-con but there should be one.
"These what my wedding photos are going to look like."
It also goes out to Dino Di Laurentis and Arnold Schwarzenegger because of the Conan The Barbarian film. Not the Destroyer cause that was crap, but the first movie? Awesome. I must have seen this flick 50 times and it just keeps getting better.
1. Richard Corben
Richard Corben is my favorite artist hands down. He was a featured artist in Heavy Metal Magazine and wrote the segment of Den based on his graphic novel “Neverwhere” for the movie. Reading any of his books take me to that realm that I’ve been talking about this whole time. His art is what my taste of metal music looks like.
“No funny comment. This is too awesome.”
Corben has done tons of original books like Bloodstar, Den, Rip In Time and Jeremy Brood just to name a few. He’s also published visual adaptations of literary works from Edgar Allen Poe and H.P.Lovecraft. Go to amazon and buy his books. I promise that will give the effect of thunderous guitars from the heavens!
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There it is kids. That’s what made me love metal. Now if you’ll excuse me I have to go to my record collection and nerd out a bit. Devil horns!
There it is kids. That’s what made me love metal. Now if you’ll excuse me I have to go to my record collection and nerd out a bit. Devil horns!
Kash!!!
ReplyDeleteSO pumped you have a blog now!
Can't wait to read all of your stories, life lessons and triumphs.
-Nasty Norm